Trailer Park Noir

I want to lift you up, to show you the power and despair of numbers. The riches and depressions and wonder that they unleash.
I want to drag you down, burn your idols and houses and cadillacs, all the symbols you hide behind, telling yourself that you are proud and safe.
I want you to know the power of your soul, not to redeem you, but to expose the dark places of your world.
I want to rip away your pride and the fear and sadness that it brings you. I want you to find the will, unchanging from the top of the world or the bottom of a ditch. Free from doubt and image.
I want you to accept and love the shameful as well as the beautiful parts of yourself.
I want you to see that you are as beautiful in rags as gowns. And as ugly. And I want you to take your pride from both.
I want you to lust after your neighbors and to shout it from the street.
But I want you, also, to love them. Not for their virtues but for their hidden faces. For their secrets and their shames.
I want you to never want to steal or attack or maim, but to give all of yourself in every moment of every hour. For freedom and not for hate.
I want to show you the ennui of letting go the thousand illusions your ego makes you perpertrate. I want to take your pride and replace it with desire. From the endless chains of your image, I would see you forge an infinate boredom of infinate desires.
I want you to be brought to your lowest point, and I want you to love that too.
I want to show you how to create riches. I want you to live in luxury and likewise be uncorrupted. Unrestrained in your thoughts and desires. Because fuck them and their awesome selves.
I want you to see that all things are good when done for love. Even the most base and humiliating wants that bring harm to none.
Because harm none means only that love is the law. A rule that devolves from a mystery. The truth is in love.
But you cannot love under will when your will is empty. When you don’t know the difference between your will and your ego, your will and the illusions you hide behind.
And if you cannot stand the judgement in peoples eyes, then look away. But to not glance down save to check them out. Be unwaivering, and unafraid to be alone. Not for hate, but because you love to much to lie. To yourself most of all.
I want to show you that you are an animal, but I want to give you more freedom even than that. To become animalistic in ways that even the beasts dare not. Because you would be restrained by love and never fear.
I want to you to know freedom. I want you to know despair. I want you to feel beautiful in rags and mud.
I want to show you chaos.


Gylfaginning 34: “[Odin] threw Hel [the deity of death] into Niflheimr and gave her authority over the nine worlds”
To be honest, the only place in the eddas or histories that I can find official mention of “Nine Worlds” is the above reference. This could either be saying that Hel was made into a God, and given authority over all worlds (though if this is the case, how can she be thrown into one in a way that sounds very much like she is being restrained there?) or it could be saying that Neflheimr consists of nine worlds which it does likewise contain. Nine worlds of Neflheimr, under Hel’s power. Nine of them. It’s a blasphemy, but I see potential parallels here with the idea of the qlippoth. Lilith with Helheim, the first layer of the land of the dead – that borders on our world and from which the restless spirits of the dead can cross over to haunt and speak with the living. From there it breaks off into a multiciplicity of other worlds.
My conclusion from all of this is that knowledge gained in and of the qlippoth can be specifically applied to the worlds under Hel’s dominion. The concepts are different, but every journey I take into the “qlippoth” looks exactly the same as many of my trips through the worlds of Niflhelm. This could be an illusion of interpretation, I admit, but my primary so-called “savant” ability (according to official diagnostic testing) is the recognition and construction of visual type patterns. Thus, of all the things I am given to doubt, my perception in things of this sort tends to not be one of them.
So the question is, why am I seeing no experiential difference between Niflheim and the Qlippoth? This could either be because one is simply a broad category within which many sub-worlds are contained, and my own leanings and practice tend to push me into worlds that i have a resonance with, or this could be because both are simply broad categories for describing the same things just expressed and linked in different ways. Either one would be a subset of the other, or both would be large structures that overlap in multiple places (claim some of the same worlds as their own).
I also realize that even so much as comparing the two places would be enough to get me excommunicated from any official Asatru Organization. Luckily, I don’t follow the Aesir and do not associate with these groups.
Anyway, I like the Norse model of the multiverse best, as it does not try to create artificial start/end points but describes multiple levels of being without prejudice or hate. However, the knowledge passed down to us from them is far from complete and in order to get a more full understanding of the multiverse from the perspective of the Norse, we must fill in the blanks somehow. The most complete yet most arbitrarily moralized model of the universe is that of the KBL and Qlippoth, and so it would not in any way hurt to work within that system at times and bring those successes and failures over to more fully fill in our understanding of the worlds.

Shaking Trance?
Jan Fries tries to link Seidhr with Shaking Trances in his book “Seidways”. I will say that while engaging in what I consider to be Seidhr Trance states, I do not always start shaking, which seems to invalidate this idea on the surface. However, I have also noticed that while engaging in what I call “Waking Trances” my hands and body do start to naturally shake on their own. This is not out of fear, seemingly, as I feel nothing but the calm of the Arte, yet it is very physical shaking none the less.
What I consider to be “Waking Trances” consist of all the times when I am using Arte while doing something else. If I am “communing” as a part of an ongoing Working and doing something else (such as talking, typing, driving, etc.) my hands, most noticeably, will start shaking in small amounts completely involuntarily. I have attributed this to an effect of the Autism, but the fact that it only occurs when combining communing with daily life does seem a bit telling.
I also practice a form of physical twisting in certain meditations that I picked up from Hyatt “Undoing yourself”. Even my chakra exercises involve a form of psychic stretching. So in this other way I would link Seidhr in my practices with the idea of shaking. This is not quite as Fries describes it, but it is a rather interesting correlation.

Evocation la more

When drawing a spirit’s glyph, if you are doing it correctly you should feel an immediate response. For me, my heart starts beating faster, my eyes want not to focus on the lines and Goosebumps crawl across my shoulders. Once complete, within seconds the feeling of a presence should become apparent, as though you are not alone. This presence, I have determined, can be felt by others who have even minimal sensitivity (as tested at a Texas roadhouse grill with some other infantrymen, primarily, who were unaware of the glyphs purpose or significance) and if you put the gliph out of site others will often note a feeling of something being missing or question whether someone left the table without them realizing it.
Strength of the spirit has an effect on the intensity of this experience, but even more minor spirits will give rise to this phenomenon. I had similar significant successes invoking the spirit of “Toast” while the group chanted the ancient Vardlokkr of “It’s peanut butter jelly time, it’s peanut butter jelly time…”
Occasionally you may ask for something that is almost impossible for them alone. You can help them overcome barriers in fate in one of two ways – you can use sacrifices to try and boost them for a short while, or you can agree to pay the cost of the working (just acknowledge “I will bear the cost of this action” or the like). Be careful, either way, as the cost is sometimes a lot steeper than it would otherwise seem….

Chaos and reconstruction

I stand by the old chaos current, primarily as a place to start from, because it, for all it’s opposites and problems, stands as a diametric opposite of the things about pagan reconstructionism that bug me the most. To reconstruct an ancient system in modern times and make it anything more than historical reenactment or ren-fair drama, you must take the original building blocks of the tradition and arrange them, not as 100% historically accurate pageants, but as a systems which work and live again in a modern culture.

In the times when ancient traditions existed, the focus was on what worked. In a nature that was not idealized, but brutal, uncontrollable and strange, there was no time for any kind of occult working which did not have tangible effects. People depended on the sorcerer to bring the rain or push back the frost, and the worry was not cultural integrity – the worry was what could bring the fastest and most reliable results.

So long as modern reconstructionism and paganism concentrates on historical accuracy rather than practical results they are merely imitating, rather than uniting with, their ancient traditions. And thus the most important parts become lost in translation.

So, to stop at chaos theory is to never truly unite with a tradition or ancient way of Arte. However, to view and treat the Arte in a way that misses the vitality and the focus on results rather than reenactment and drama is, in the same way, a profound missing of the point and a failure to become the thing itself. Thus, I believe that the best way to approach historical systems of the occult is to begin with the practices and focus I most commonly attribute to chaos magic, and end in immersion and dedication to a system. Not because it looks cool, but because you have proven through experience that it fits you and that it works.

Anything less is simply an aborted attempt to understand the truth of our history.


I have come to very much attest to the existence of the fylgia. This, an animistic part of your self that travels independently, tending to arrive in a place just before you do or see just a few seconds into the future. Many see this as being a specific animal, but I have come to see it more as an expression of the animistic part of yourself, having connection into the lizard brain and instincts, that is primal but not a member of a species. It may just be my work with this paradigm that created this, that formed it from a blank canvas and makes it work for me. Nevertheless I can sometimes get the feeling that I am seeing another’s fylgia sniffing me out, bringing just a taste of that persons aura close enough to get just the faintest whiff of.

In retrospect, I do not recall that I ever set out to become aware of this thing. Rather, it seems that I have always had varying phases of awareness of it since I started working with the supernatural.


I suppose it is time for me to talk about the practice of seidhr (pronounced say-the or sayth). This is a thing I have been working on for many years now, sometimes with others but mostly on my own.

Let me come right out and say it up front, because this is the major difference between the way I practice it and the current trends – I do not believe that seidhr is a gift or power gained from the Norse gods. I think it is neutral. As Freya had to teach it to Odin, and therefore, it seems logically, had to have learned it herself… It is then something older than the gods themselves, practiced also by giants (Titans) and used both as a tool of society and a tool of primordial destruction.

As shamans go to either the overworld (heaven) or underworld (hell) and meet spirits, traveling through a shamanic rebirth, the seidhr must willingly travel through Hel’s kingdom and see the spirits there. The spirits of the dead and the underworld. As the shaman travels on sprit journeys to reclaim lost bits of a persons soul to heal and save, the seidhr steals little soul pieces to edit memories and make one ill. Where the shaman makes pacts and forms bonds with spirits that bring wisdom and guidance, the seidhr draws and is ridden by spirits who create illusions and alter perception.

Like any arte, the first step is learning meditation. But meditation of a seidhr is different than that of the east. There are two types of meditation, the going forth and the drawing in.

The going out is an astral journey, where one covers ones head and lays as if dead. The major steps here are to ensure that one is covered head to toe with a ritual cloak (blanket will work, so long as it is dedicated to the task and is made of actual fur), and that one stays in a place where no words will be spoken – as the silence being cracked with a single word is enough to break the spell.

The drawing in is more akin to traditional meditation. One sits or stands and either engages in a slow, repetitive chant, or bangs a staff against the ground in a steady, unwavering beat. The point here is not mental work alone, but the exhaustion that comes from the activity over time. Both must be present, will and exhaustion, for the correct mental plane to be reached. If attempting to draw a single spirit or entity, names of power should be chanted to attract and draw them out (including their name, if known).

Please note that both methods are similar and can often be used to a similar effect, depending on your inclinations and preference.

It must be remembered that, though it is an active process, the practitioner should ideally remain in a receptive state. A spirit that one would want to communicate or work with is not just spoken with, but drawn in, pulled into a mental plane. It is a place that you must control, an astral pocket, so to speak, but it is also inside of yourself. From this place you then may give the spirit the power to affect you and work as your partner in whatever way you specify and is agreed upon.

Traditionally this seems to have been spirits of animals. A description of this being done with a whale by two seidhr appears in the histories, and stories of riding “nightmares” and transforming into wolves are both found in the culture during the era. At the time, when the power and devastation of nature ruled supreme, these were probably some of the largest, most forbidding and powerful spirits in the neighboring worlds. However, as man has come to crush nature under his boot heel, this does not seem to be the case any longer. The most powerful and foreboding images have become insects, germs, outer space and man himself – and thus this is what I choose to work with when not calling upon a named creature.

As such you must tailor the astral realm, the land that is your spirit, in such a way as to manage and give you the edge against these entities. Depending on your inclination this may not be a forest any more, this might be a hospital or sterol lab, this could be the top of a skyscraper or the depths of a bunker. Whatever rings true to you and invites, but does not give an advantage to, the spirits you intend to be calling.

You must build it in your mind and body, imagine every block of wood, every smell, and focus on that during the call. Nor should this change between evocations, for to maintain strength you should make yourself into one demiplane that will work most perfectly for you and stick with that as much as is conceivably possible.

Two things this place must allow the spirit to do. One is to remain inside of you, ready to act when you give it permission and weave illusions or alter perception in those around you when unleashed. The other to combine and release you – spirit carrying your souls weight, and fly by night to create much greater effects in the world with your active help.

Post Meta Para Liber

I’m trying to put together a list of fiction and art that expresses magic from a Meta-paradigmatic stance. Not only do I think this would be helpful for the beginner looking to understand the basics of the 156/663 current in an experiential rather than textbook fashion, but I think it would encourage the proliferation and success of such projects (in that it would help them find their intended audience). The occult does not tithe it’s adherence, rather, it funds itself by the purchase of the newest ideas and rituals by those looking to take their practice further. And while I don’t believe that dry discussion of occult theory or example ritual formats should incur a cost, the grand opus works and richest stories are more than worth charging for and should be encouraged to prosper in every sense (to include the monetary) – Not as manuals of the occult, but as products of it that stand on their own.

The Invisibles – Grant Morreson: Intermediate. A grand sigil, hidden in a Graphic Novel series, by a practicing Chaote presenting a world of exaggerated magic from a meta-paradigmatic reality.

American Gods – Niel Gaiman: Beginner. A Novel whose main characters are egrigores who, for the purposes of the story, are given flesh and who walk around as men.

Serial Experiment Lain: Advanced. An Anime series about a society who creates technology that blends the Astral World with the Internet, and who then experiments with giving an internet meme physical incarnation.

Kashmere: Intermediate. A rap artist whose songs are often explicitly about git’ard magic. The music videos are very well done also and available on YouTube. This is one of the few music groups who I completely support and will shell out for actual CDs, after the Recording Industry Legal fiasco.